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8 Brutally Honest Ways to Show Up for a Friend in a Toxic Relationship
Telling them to “just leave” is the easiest thing to say, and the least helpful.
Here are eight things I’ve learned from watching people I love shrink inside the wrong relationship , and what finally made a difference.
Stop Saying “You Need to Leave.” It’s Not That Simple
You’ve probably said it. We all have.
“Why don’t you just leave?”
You say it out of love, frustration, helplessness. You see your friend bruised — maybe not physically, but emotionally.
You watch them withdraw, their eyes duller, their voice quieter. You see their partner interrupt them, correct them, guilt them into silence at dinner. And still, they stay.
So you say it: “You need to leave.”
But here’s what you don’t see.
They’re sitting on the edge of their bed at 2 a.m. while that partner sleeps next to them, wondering if they’re crazy. They rehearse what they’d say if they left — only to imagine being screamed at, or worse.
They scroll rental listings they can’t afford because the money’s all in their partner’s name. They remember the time…
